Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) Review

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians poster
Director: Nicholas Webster
Stars: John Call, Pia Zadora
Genre: Science Fiction, Comedy, Family

Well this is a fun one. As you may expect this is very high in camp and is of the so-bad-it's-good category. Or, if you happen to be a soulless bastard, the so-bad-it's-bad category. Frequently featured on lists of the worst films ever made.

The Martian children are very unhappy and the Martian leaders determine that what they need to cheer them up is Santa Claus. So what do the Martians do? Well, they fly to Earth, kidnap Santa and force him into slave labor of course! They also kidnap two Earth children. That's the basic premise but as you can expect from a family movie everything works out in the end. Despite what the title may imply there's no badass Santa going around killing Martians; nay, Santa conquers Mars with his good spirit and kindness!

The sets and costumes look like they were loaned by Ed Wood himself. The Martians are just men painted green with upside down scuba-diving masks as helmets (also painted green) with snorkel and all! Their guns seem to be made out of a a flashlight (?) with the end of a plunger attached to it and painted black. It's pretty hilarious but it's fun to watch. Very colorful and full of '60s camp...kind of like an episode of the 1960s Batman show.

There's an awesome robot and a scary looking polar bear, both obviously men in costumes. It just all adds to the camp value so much.

The acting is terrible...do I even have to critique this as I would another film? It's all bad and that's what makes it good. It'll provide a few good laughs. 

I will admit that some of the music is dangerously catchy. S-A-N-T-A-C-L-A-U-S HOORAY FOR SANTIE CLAUS!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

A nice popcorn movie to sit back and watch with the family during the holiday season and laugh at. There's a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode of this and it was also on Elvira's Movie Macabre, if you want to make it more watchable. Quite honestly though it's funny enough on its own.

3/5 stars - Okay

Purchase Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on Amazon: Blu-Ray - DVD - MST3K - Movie Macabre
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