The Lost World (1925) Review

Director: Harry Hoyt
Stars: Wallace Beery, Bessie Love, Lewis Stone, Lloyd Hughes
Genre: Adventure

A film adaptation of the novel of the same name by Arthur Conan Doyle, with wonderful stop-motion special effects by the very talented and innovative Willis O'Brien. One of the earliest example of a Giant Monster movie (Kaiju, if you prefer) and the film that helped paved the way for films like King Kong, Godzilla, and Jurassic Park.

The story follows Professor Challenger (what a name!) who returns from an expedition on which he claims he saw prehistoric dinosaurs...alive! No one believes him, and indeed mock him, but he forms a party to return to the lost world in order to prove them wrong (and to save a member who was lost on the previous journey). In the lost world they are confronted with plenty different varieties of dinosaurs that threaten their lives.

Probably the most notable thing about this film is the special effects work of stop-motion pioneer Willis O'Brien. Prior to The Lost World O'Brien honed his skills on lesser works such as The Dinosaur and the Missing Link and The Ghost of Slumber Mountain, and his animation was at its hitherto best in The Lost World; of course he later went on to culminate all his talents into King Kong. Suffice it to say, O'Brien's innovative stop-motion animation looks great here and believe it or not still holds up well today. The dinosaurs move in very convincing and life-like ways and all the sets and models look absolutely gorgeous (and even more gorgeous in the 93 minute restored edition, which I am reviewing and recommend).

One of the coolest things about King Kong were all the giant monster fights he got into; this holds true for The Lost World also. Dinosaurs are always fighting other dinosaurs and the fights are very enjoyable and well choreographed. It's some awesome action, especially for its time. And after all, who doesn't like to see dinosaurs fighting?

There's some nice acting from the wild-haired and bearded Wallace Beery, and of course the very beautiful Bessie Love (a fitting name, I may add). At the beginning of the film there is also a cameo appearance of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle himself, the author of the novel of which this film is based (also author of the highly popular Sherlock Holmes series). It is, as far as I know, his first and only appearance on film. It is also said that when the film came out in theaters Doyle went to see it with his family and did indeed like it.

One of the first giant monster movies. The first feature length film to utilize stop motion animation. The film that served as invaluable practice for Willis O'Brien's later special effects work in King Kong. The first film to be screened on an airplane (April 1925 London-Paris Imperial Airways flight; probably not the best idea being that the plane was made largely of wood and film stock is nitrate and highly flammable but, you know, someone had to do, right?). An important film, one that nearly became a lost film numerous times, and luckily for us a very enjoyable one. 

Purchase The Lost World on Amazon: DVD - Stream - VHS

Siegfried's Death (1924) Review

Director: Fritz Lang
Stars: Paul Richter, Hanna Ralph
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, German Expressionism

Directed by Fritz Lang (Metropolis, The Big Heat, M, Destiny) during his expressionist period in the silent era, Siegfried's Death is part one of Lang's two part fantasy epic known as Die Nibelungen (The Nibelungs), the second part being Kriemhild's Revenge.

It's a story about a great warrior Siegfried who travels far to marry a beautiful woman, the sister of King Gunther. After doing a few favors for King Gunther he marries his sister and becomes close friends with the King. But, as you may of guessed, things start to go wrong for just about everyone.

I'll start off by saying that if Fritz Lang's Metropolis was the 2001: A Space Odyssey of the silent era, then Fritz Lang's Die Nibelungen is certainly The Lord of the Rings of it. It's quite the epic fantasy. The highlight of the action is definitely towards the beginning when Siegfried slays a fire-breathing dragon. May I remind you this was made in 1924? It's awesome though and the visual effects in this film are quite stunning, and captured by some great cinematography I may add. 

Unfortunately towards the middle the film slows down. And let me remind you that this is a two and a half hour film so the middle is pretty damn long. It gets a bit boring and slow-paced and it definitely drags at parts compared to its great opening. It's not so bad, it has its moments, but I think it could of definitely benefited from being shortened or by adding a bit more action to it. Because as it is now it's largely a medieval melodrama. Not a bad medieval melodrama mind you, but still, who wants melodrama when you can have fantasy action?

It's an impressive film technically and an enjoyable film sometimes. Of course Fritz Lang's directing is stellar, and its German Expressionist qualities certainly bring the film to life, but it is a very slow and tedious film that can put some to sleep if you're not prepared for it.

Purchase Siegfried's Death on Amazon: Blu-Ray - DVD - Fritz Lang Collection - VHS

Top 10 Georges Méliès Films

Georges Méliès was one of the earliest filmmakers. Often referred to as a cinemagician for his innovative special effects, Méliès invented the stop trick and is also often credited for some of the earliest use of multiple exposures, time-lapse photography, dissolves, and hand-painted coloring. Méliès is easily one of the first fantasists of film.

He directed over 500 short films in less than twenty years and less than half of them still exist today. During WWI the French army turned Méliès' film studio into a military hospital and melted many of Méliès' films down to make boot heels for soldiers. I'm sure many more were lost through time and Méliès' once in a rage even burned many of his own films. We may never know what amazing films were lost, but nonetheless, half of 500 is still a lot. 

Of the films that still exist many of them not only introduced new technical innovations, but also were many firsts of genres. Méliès is often credited to have made the first Science Fiction film (A Trip to the Moon, 1902) as well as the first Horror film (The Haunted Castle, 1986). 

Many of Méliès' films became formulaic and repetitive and at times it seems as if Méliès would just rehash older films he made and call them new. It may not be said that Méliès was the most consistent filmmaker (a seemingly hard feat when your filmography surpasses 500) but he was undeniably a creative director and one of the biggest pioneers of film. 

Since many of Méliès' films are so short (most running between 1 and 6 minutes) and there are so many of them it would be impossible for me to review each one. So instead I have decided to make a list of my ten favorite Georges Méliès' films, the ones I find to be the best. Keep in mind I haven't seen all of his films, but I've seen around fifty of them. 

10. The Conquest of the Pole (1912)

This was actually one of Méliès' last films that he ever made. It's also one of his longest, running at over 30 minutes long. 

Because it follows the same plot formula it is often considered to be the final film in his Fantastic Voyage trilogy (the first two being A Trip to the Moon and The Impossible Voyage). A group of men travel to the North Pole and upon their arrival they are met with a Snow Giant who tries to eat them. 

For a Méliès film it's surprisingly boring and slow-paced and there seems to be a bit of a lack of cool tricks. It has its moments though and the Snow Giant scene towards the end is great. 

You can watch it in excellent quality here. 30 mins. 

9. The Inn Where No Man Rests (1903)

Despite having an awesome name for a western, The Inn Where No Man Rests falls more neatly into the genre of fantasy or even supernatural horror or perhaps surrealism. 

The film seems to be about the hallucination of a drunk man who, upon checking into an inn, finds his furniture flying around the room and the paintings coming to life. 

There's some really cool tricks in here and my favorite part would probably have to be the painting part. 

Can be watched here. 5 mins.

8. The Bewitched Inn (1987)

A pretty early film from Méliès. It's essentially a less complex The Inn Where No Man Rests (1903) but for me it works out slightly better. 

Some very odd things happen in a man's room, including his bed disappearing! It's essentially a 19th century Paranormal Activity...except it doesn't suck. 

Can be watched here. 2 mins.

7. The Infernal Boiling Pot (1903)

The film really just serves to show off some tricks. There's no story or anything but it's incredibly visually pleasing. The hand-coloring is great. 

Can be watched here. 1 mins.

6. The Astronomer's Dream (1898)

Well, this is basically just about a moon (that looks like it's straight out of Majora's Mask) who harasses a poor astronomer. 

The sets are great and really create a fantastic cartoonish feel. 

Can be watched here. 3 mins.

5. The Sign of the Cross (1899)

So Satan walks in to a Church, right? And what do you think he does? Terrorizes it of course! He harasses the nuns, redecorates the place a bit, and even summons some demons from hell. 

All with beautiful set design and some pretty clever tricks. 

Can be watched here. 3 mins. 

4. The Haunted Castle (1986)

One of the best of Méliès' early work. Widely regarded to be not only the first vampire movie, but the first horror movie as well. 

With a haunted house full of vampires, witches, ghosts, and skeletons, who could argue? 

Can be watched here. 3 mins.

3. The Impossible Voyage (1904)

The second film in Méliès' Fantastic Voyage trilogy. It's also sometimes regarded as the first Steampunk movie. It's also one of the first films that made people realize that film is not only a visual but can also be used for storytelling. 

It was one of the longest films of its time, running at 24 minutes long it was about five times the length of the average film at the time. 

It has simply beautiful sets and is so visually pleasing. The science in it is also hilarious. Okay, to show you just how absurd this film is I will give you a brief synopsis: A group of men fly a train to the sun and they end up in the middle of the sun by going through the sun's mouth. They then proceed to parachute off the sun in a submarine. Yes. That happened. 

Somewhat lacking in an antagonist (no moon people or snow giants) but it's still good fun. 

Can be watched here. 24 mins.

2. Blue Beard (1901)

This is probably Méliès' most plot-heavy film. It's also probably his darkest. Probably the most plot-heavy and darkest film of all films at the time. 

It concerns Blue Beard who tells his new wife to never go in a certain room in his house. Alas though, the wife is tempted by a demon and she enters the room to find numerous women hung by the neck (pretty dark imagery for its time). Blue Beard finds out she disobeyed him and gets angry but then some townspeople come to her rescue and kill Blue Beard in a pretty awesome sword fight. 

I will admit there is a bit of pointless filler in here (surprising for a Melies short) but it's not too bad. For the most part the film is very straight-forward. The sets here are beautiful.

Can be watched here. 10 mins. 

1. A Trip to the Moon (1902)

Not only is A Trip to the Moon my favorite Méliès film, it's also regarded as the first ever science-fiction film (though the science in it is admittedly ridiculous). I guess it was the first film that took place in outer space though. Inspired by the books From the Earth to the Moon and The First Men in the Moon, the former written by Jules Verne and the latter by H.G. Wells (two pioneers of the genre). 

The film is more of a comedy and it's obvious that it was made in good fun. The sets here are absolutely beautiful, especially the sets on the moon. The aliens look surprisingly cool also. 

And of course everyone is familiar with the famous image of the spaceship landing on the moon's eye. Méliès' most popular film is deservedly so, as I find it to also be his finest. 

Click here to watch a restored hand-colored version with a soundtrack by AIR or here for a narrated version. 

Honorable Mentions: Four Heads Are Better Than One, Kingdom of the Fairies, Gulliver's Travels, The 400 Tricks of the Devil, The Man with the Rubber Head, The Black Imp, The Devilish Tenant, The Eclipse

Well, that concludes my list of favorite Georges Méliès films. If there are any I didn't list that you feel are should of been, let me know because maybe I haven't seen it yet. But remember, this is a list of my favorite Georges Méliès films, not yours.

For those interested in Melies I recommend two DVDs: George Melies: First Wizard of Cinema and Melies Encore. Fantastic DVDs to own, the first one contain close to one hundred of his films and the second own contains over twenty of some of his rarer stuff. A quick search on Amazon will reveal many different Melies collections. 

The Golem (1920) Review

Director: Paul Wegener, Carl Boese
Stars: Paul Wegener, Albert Steinruck, Carl Boese
Genre: German Expressionism, Fantasy, Horror
Also known as: Der Golem, The Golem: How He Came Into the World

An early work of cinematic German Expressionism based on the 1915 novel of the same name by Gustav Meyrink, but the tale's roots go back hundreds of years to Jewish folklore stories.

So, basically, a Jewish rabbi creates a golem from clay and uses sorcery to bring him to life in order to protect the Jews of Prague from persecution. The only problem is, the Golem ends up causing a few problems for everyone due to some after-effects of the spell used to bring him to life...or something along those lines.

It kind of felt like a Frankenstein-esque story, and I've even heard that James Whale took inspiration from this while directing Frankenstein (1931). There's even a scene in here where a little girl gives the monster a flower, similar to the scene in Frankenstein.

There's not much to say about this one. It's solid German Expressionism, though it didn't quite captivate me as well as many others of the genre have. It just felt a little boring to me.

The set design is pretty awesome, designed by the wonderful architect, Hans Poelzig. It manages to have a twisted feel, but not as surreal as, for example, the sets of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

The cinematography is well-done, Karl Freund being the head cinematographer. Freund is known for his work on other film, such as Metropolis, The Last Laugh, Key Largo, and he's even directed a few films, most noteworthy being Universal's The Mummy and Mad Love, the remake to German Expressionist classic, The Hands of Orlac. The Golem was once of the earlier projects he worked on, but his charm is ever present.

Paul Wegener, who also directs, plays the Golem. The Golem actually looks pretty funny, though the make-up isn't bad. There are some pretty cool special effects here, or really only during one part specifically, when they were reading the spells. For its time it was actually pretty amazing.

It wasn't bad but I wasn't overly impressed by it. I can really only recommend it to fans of German Expressionism or those interested in Jewish mysticism. 

Purchase The Golem on Amazon: DVD 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) Review

Director: Peter Jackson
Stars: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen
Genre: Fantasy

Oh, god, this was pretty bad. I suppose I'll start off by saying that be sure you see it in 48 frames-per-second. I know there's a lot of controversy and most people are against the 48 FPS, but I'll be honest, the 48 FPS was the most interesting thing about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It definitely looks beautiful and I think it's safe to assume that the doubled frame rate is the future of film. It is pretty exciting to see it so crisp and reality-like, it's like seeing a glimpse of films in the future. For that reason alone I'd tell you to go see The Hobbit.

Unfortunately, once the magic and excitement of the frame-rate wears off, you're left with a pretty damn mediocre film.

I should also say that I have yet to read any of Tolkien's books, so no comparisons will be made to the book. Also, I haven't watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy in a very long time, so there won't be much comparison between those (though there will be some).

The first film of a soon-to-be trilogy has very little to do with a Hobbit, despite its name, and instead mostly focuses on a gang of dwarves who seem like they'd fit better in a Snow White movie. The one Hobbit in here, Bilbo Baggins, takes the backseat in here and serves as a tag-along nuisance who contributes little to anything (though it's obvious he'll play a larger role in the next two films). They spend the film going on an adventure and being chased by Orcs.

From what I understand The Hobbit (the book) was very lighter in tone than the Lord of the Rings books. It definitely shows in the film. It's nowhere near as epic as LOTR, though it tries to be. It seems as if it were confused whether it wanted to be light-hearted or darkly epic, and instead tries (and fails) to be both. The dwarves are almost entirely used for comedic effect, their entire introductions playing like a slapstick. There's the burp jokes, the stereotypical fat dwarf, the groin hits, and two times in the beginning of the film I honestly wasn't sure whether or not I was watching a musical. Just look at this poster and tell me it doesn't look like some shitty comedy.

I understand that The Hobbit is trying to be more childlike, and on a certain level it achieves that, but I don't think that it really works in the film's favor. It's not funny, it's filled with mostly cheap humor; it's not epic or very exciting, in fact there were many parts that were boring. The few glimpses were got at large-scale battle scenes were really cool, but they only occupied a minute or so of the film's running time.

The pacing is awful; way too much exposition in the beginning and then just a jumbled mess in the second half trying to set up things for the next two films. Not to mention the numerous plot holes (the major one being how elder Bilbo is able to write the story when he was absent for many parts). The story never really got anywhere either (something that plagues a lot of first films in a trilogy). We start with at the beginning of an adventure and by the end we're still at the beginning.

The first 45-minutes of the film took place completely inside a Hobbit hole with a bunch of annoying dwarfs. It was possibly the most excruciating 45-minutes of my life and was only bearable because I was still interested with the 48fps technology and just how real everything looked. Luckily things picked up a bit once their journey finally began. But from as far as I can see the storyline just isn't very interesting.

There's no woman characters. Well there's one...who has a minor speaking role, but she's a church-like mother character. I guess it's really the source material to blame here and not the film.

A big problem I had was the way too frequent use of a deus ex machina device. Every time the dwarves are in trouble or are in a seemingly inescapable situation they are magic saved by Gandalf. It's just so boring and easy and if not for Gandalf all those idiot dwarfs and that useless hobbit would have been dead in seconds. Sticky situation? No problem, Gandalf will rescue everyone.

The ending was also extremely unsatisfying and anti-climactic. 

For the most part the film looks really nice. The 48 frames-per-second helps it's visual appeal, the only problem being is that some parts are so realistic that they look very obviously fake and costumed. The 3-D was very subtle and well done. There is way more CGI use in here than in the LOTR trilogy. Way more. I've even heard this film be called The Hobbit Episode 1: Revenge of the Sith. Yeah, it's that bad. And the heavy CGI use really takes away from the magic of it all. It is, after all, supposed to be a magical story, but it just looks so fake and it detracts from your immersion and excitement and wonderment. You never look at the trolls for example and think how magical and impressive they are, because you know they were done completely with computers. I think the LOTR trilogy struck a nice balance between traditional effects and CGI, The Hobbit just overuses CGI.

The cast does a pretty good job, though nothing amazing. Ian McKellen as Gandalf is great as expected. Martin Freeman does just as good as Elijah Wood did playing the lead Hobbit (though I admittedly can't help but seeing a British office worker with pointy ears while watching this). As for the dwarfs I really don't have much to say...I kind of hated them all. Andy Serkis as Gollum will of course be viewed as a highlight of the film, which is true, it probably was my favorite scene. Gollum is creepy as ever and is probably the best looking CGI in the entire film. (The Stone Giant scene also looked pretty cool).

The soundtrack composed by Howard Shore is excellent, though much of it is taken from the LOTR films.

It's a very long movie, and it does feel long, but it doesn't feel as long as it actually is. There's a lot of slow, boring parts; and I admire Peter Jackson having slower parts that aren't just action, it's just unfortunate that the slow scenes aren't interesting. Hell, even the action scenes are pretty uninteresting. I couldn't care less about this Dwarf king and his feud with some pale Orc. I don't care! Both the dwarf and orc are so characterless. 

On an unrelated note, did there seem to be an abundance of drug references and implications present? Not only the very direct mushroom one but they also seemed to imply that Gandalf is high as a kite the entire time.

I suspect that it's likely I may like the next two installments in the trilogy better being that this first one was largely plagued by what many firsts in trilogy are plagued by: setting things up. The only way I can recommend seeing this is if you are huge Tolkien fans or simply to witness the groundbreaking and stunning 48 frames-per-second. Otherwise it's one of the worst films of the year.

Warning Shadows (1923) Review

Director: Arthur Robison
Stars: Fritz Kortner, Ruth Weyher, Gustav von Wangenheim
Genre: German Expressionism, Fantasy, Horror
Also known as: Shadows: A Nocturnal Hallucination, Schatten – Eine Nächtliche Halluzination 

Wow, just wow. Warning Shadows is a very under-appreciated German Expressionist film and, in my opinion, very close to being a masterpiece. 

The film is about a husband and wife who invite four men over to their home for dinner. They also hire a shadow puppeteer for entertainment. But, alas, the husband begins to suspect that the dinner guests are making moves on his wife and that his wife is playing along with the flirt. The shadow puppeteer, who also seems to be a hypnotist, shows all the people of the house how the night will end if the guest continue their pursuit of the woman; if the man continues his jealousy; and if his wife continues her flirting; in short, it would end in disaster.

The film, at times, can be a bit confusing. It definitely requires your full attention. It's not so much that the plot is confusing, but more so that there are no intertitles and the film relies heavily on visuals to tell the story.

This actually seems to be the first feature length silent film to intentionally have a lack of intertitles and a strictly visual presentation. A technique that would be often imitated later in the genre's history.

The film takes place almost completely inside of a mansion. The sets here aren't surreal, complex, or dazzling, but it still has beautiful interior design and architecture. The main eye candy comes from the film's amazing use of shadows. The film certainly lives up to its name.

I've always had an acute interest and fascination with shadows. I'm not sure where the interest roots from but nonetheless this film only heightens my fascination. The shadow work is great in here, some of the best I've seen, which is largely due to the shadow puppeteer. It's almost as if, in certain scenes, you're watching two planes of existence at once: the material plane and the shadows.

The world of shadows is never quite the same as the real world, and this film does a great job of making a point of that. Shadows are deceiving, and I'd even say that shadows are one of the antagonists of this film. The dinner guests, just fooling around, pretend to fondle the woman's shadow. But, from the other side of the curtain it appears, to the husband, that they are actually fondling her body. This is a recurring theme in Warning Shadows, that things aren't always quite as they seem.

The first half of the film plays out a bit like a melodrama, but a good one. The story deals with lust, jealousy, vengeance, and more. The latter half of the film is a bit more action packed, since it takes place in the puppeteer's induced vision. I actually found the latter half to be a bit boring, which is a shame because it definitely had the potential to be awesome. My eyes just kind of got bored of watching and stopped paying attention.

There are some truly amazing scenes throughout the film though. I loved the mirror scene, and the the shadow animals. My favorite moment was definitely when they left the real world and entered the hallucination; their shadows shrinking into their bodies and coming out on the other side. It's a spectacle that must be seen to be understood.

It's a very stylized film. I loved the use of mirrors and even the opening credits where all the characters were introduced was ingenious.

I truly have trouble doing this film justice with mere words, it really is something you must witness for yourself. A film with so much great and only a few strides short of masterful. 

Purchase Warning Shadows on Amazon: DVD - German Expressionism DVD Collection 

Faust (1926) Review

Director: F.W. Murnau
Stars: Gosta Ekman, Emil Jannings, William Dieterle
Genre: German Expressionism, Fantasy

Massive, and wholly accurate, spoilers to follow

One day an angel was really bored so he decided to make a bet with Satan (angels have a bit of a gambling problem). The bet has something to do with something but...it doesn't matter. 

So there's this plague or something and this old guy Faust really wants to save everyone but he can't. So what does he do? Summon the dark lord Mephisto of course. Mephisto tries to get him to sell his soul for some awesome wizard powers and stuff but Faust refuses. But, Mephisto tricks him by saying that he could have a one day free trial of the powers, no strings attached. (It's kind of like how magazines or Netflix trick you with the one month free trial but then make it really hard for you to cancel the subscription without ending up having to pay). 

So Faust accepts the one day deal. The first thing Faust does is become a young man, because all he really wanted to do was get laid. So, young Faust goes out to find some hoes. He finds one and brings her back to his place. But, just as he's about to hit that Mephisto tells him that one day is almost over! Bummer. But Faust is like "Yo, fuck it, whatever. You can have my soul, just let me hit this right quick." Thus selling his soul to the devil. Faust was obviously thinking with his penis. 

Faust taps that ass and then after his dick softens up he realizes that that pussy probably wasn't worth the eternal damnation of his soul. But, Faust is the type of guy who makes the best of a situation. "I'm young and I have the power of Hell at my disposal. Might as well live it up, YOLO!" says Faust. 

Then they fly around for a bit and Mephisto is like "Hey, aren't these special effects really great? And these sets are amazing. We're way ahead of our time!" 

So then what does Faust do? Goes out to find some more hoes of course. Faust immediately goes for a young, innocent virgin girl and tells Mephisto to make her his. But even Mephisto, the evil demon that he is, is like "Yo, son, chill out. There's plenty of other bitches around here whose lives already suck that you can get with."

But, Faust wants that young, tight pussy. "Damn, nigga," Faust tells Mephisto, "It's like Biggie Smalls said, 'I like 'em young, fresh and clean, with no hair in between. Know what I mean?'"

So Mephisto uses his devil magic to get the virgin girl to fall in love with Faust, because, ya know, who needs honest, pure, true love? 

Oh, yeah, and then Mephisto gropes some old lady and mixes her a drink that makes her shit her pants or fart or something. Then Mephisto proceeds to go and cock block Faust and Faust is all like "Shit, nigga."

So while Faust is getting it on with that girl, Mephisto kills her mother and then goes to the girl's brother and tells him that his sister is a whore...and then Mephisto kills him too. 

As the brother lies there dying, his siter by his side, he calls his sister a wanton, which I'm guessing is a derivative word coming from the chinese food Wonton dumplings (in the olden days nobody liked Asians so they would use their food as insults). 

The entire town hates the girl now and thinks she's a slut. She goes insane for a brief moment when she thinks that her mother is a chair. 

Now, thanks to Faust, the girl has no family and is homeless. Well, actually Faust got her pregnant (they didn't have condoms back then, and I guess she wasn't on the pill) so both her and her newborn baby get to live on the freezing cold streets. None of the villagers will help her or even her dying baby, because, you know, stupid whores and their stupid babies deserve it, right? At this point the girl, Gretchen (that's her name by the way, I just remembered), is pretty mentally unstable. She hallucinates that there is a baby's crib but it's actually just snow and she ends up killing her baby. 

When the villagers find that she killed her baby they get all pissed off (because apparently they actually cared about the baby's well-being) and burn her at the stake as punishment. But Faust comes and rescues her, right? Nah. Mephisto turned Faust back into an old man and by the time he got there she was already on fire. 

But, nonetheless, old man Faust throws himself in the fire with her, and if we'd of been able to hear Gretchen over her burning flesh then I'm sure she probably said something along the lines of "LOL WUT?"

So, somehow she realizes that the old man is actually Faust, but keep in mind she was mentally unstable so who knows if it was actually even Faust. And even though Faust killed her entire family, ruined her life, and got her killed, she still loves him and they kiss as they burn to death. 

So you'd think that now Faust's soul will go to hell, because he made that whole deal with the devil, right? Well, not quite. As convenient plot-device angel explains: There is only one word that can break the pact and that word is LOVE (even if it's manipulated and insincere love that was achieved by the use of evil demon magic). Unfortunately, Mephisto couldn't afford a lawyer because I'm sure that whole LOVE bullshit would have never held up in court. 

So Gretchen and Faust get to go to heaven and I guess Gretchen will stay under the evil love spell forever and always love Faust no matter what! And Faust doesn't have to face the consequences of his actions! YAY!

And that's pretty much it. THE END. 

Things I learned from watching Faust:
1. Religious things, e.g., holy statues or crosses, force Mephisto to make funny faces.
2. Don't ever trust free trials on the internet.
3. Pussy > Soul. 
4. If the Devil wants to give you devil powers in trade for your soul, make the deal because you can fuck all the bitches and then just use the devil powers to force some girl to fall in love with you and then go to heaven because the power of love always triumphs.

Pros:

+Very awesome sets and atmosphere. Truly stunning. 

+Great actors

+Fantastic directing and cinematography from F.W. Murnau and Carl Hoffmann

+Ahead of its time special effects that still look awesome to this day

+Awesome and creepy introduction of the Mephisto character

Cons:

-Stupid, illogical story. I was never a fan of the Faust story but this isn't even a good adaptation. 

-Typical religious themes that don't fit into my philosophy or set of morals, therefore rendering it less entertaining, just as a religious man would find less satisfaction in a film that denounces religion. 

-Bad and unbelievable characters, bad character development, bad character continuity

-Has virtually nothing going for it besides its visuals. 

Purchase a mediocre, overrated movie on Amazon!: DVD - VHS